On Being Single

Some define single as meaning an individual who is not married. Even if two people have been a couple for 20 years, it the relationship is not legally binding, then the two individuals are still single. But lets embark on the more traditional and universal definition of single, which means an individual who is not apart of a intimate relationship. Lets not even use the word intimate. It’s possible for two people to be in a relationship and suffer with not being intimate with one another. It’s very hard to see how people can do it, but it’s possible. Lets say a “dating relationship”.
It’s a double standing for the different sexes when it comes to the perception of someone being single. When a male is single. not married and lives on his own, he is referred to as a bachelor and resides in a bachelor pad. When a female is single and not married and lives on her own, she is believed to have a problem and her house is considered a lonely. A few years back, the R&B group Destiny’s Child had a smash hit called Independent Woman, which praised women who are single and who are taking care of themselves without depending on men. That song inspired society to look to single and unmarried woman as strong and independent. But that songs inspiration died out and society still saw single and unmarried women, especially 30 years and over, as lonely, sexually deprived, and something was wrong with them.
Lets break the standards even more from how single men are received. The aforementioned ’bachelor’ term has a more positive outlook. Contrary to women, men are not look at as having something wrong with them if there unmarried or single. A single man can go out on casual dates with many different women and nothing is seen as wrong with that. Two take it even further, a single man can sleep with many different women and nothing is seen to be wrong with that either. The saying used when men engage in these actions is, “Well that’s just a man being a man”. Words used for these men are players. This term doesn’t have a negative connotation. But on the other hand, if a woman were to sleep around with many different guys, she’s considered a whore, hoe, slide, and a slut. All of these words have very negative connotations. Even if a single women sleeps with one guy who is not her boyfriend, she is characterized as one of these negative terms. Ironically, most of these terms are used by women to other women. Single men are not concerned with the name-calling of other men. This must mean that single women must not engage sexually with another man unless there in a dating relationship. But even if that happens, women are still judgmental and will creatively come up with something else to criticize. To use a page out of their book, that’s a woman just being a woman.
It is to believe that every woman would ultimately want to get married. Whenever a wedding occurs, the bride is the one who walks down the aisle with the instrumentals of “Here Comes The Bride”. The famous saying goes that a wedding is the most important day for the woman; not the most important day for the man. Contrary to women, the average men prefers to be single. Men like to have options and varieties There are times when a man’s objective is to follow stereotypes and just “be a man”. But that plan can backfire when a girl follows the stereotype of a man. Pride can definitely shatter due to embarrassment. From that day on, the views in this essay are no longer mine.

the alphabet shuffle

Hello again, everyone.

I hope your holiday has been relaxing and/or exciting so far. I have finished reading all of your portfolios. It was an interesting exercise to re-read the stories and poems you submitted this semester, in their revised forms, and among those I had not already seen were plenty of surprising and entertaining bits. I will be emailing you individually with full comments on your work in the next couple of weeks (if you don't hear from me by the time the new semester begins, please contact me).

The part of evaluation I like the least is assigning grades, but I've done it anyway. You can see your own grade, broken down by participation, presentation, commenting, and portfolio, on Blackboard. Just go to www.qc.cuny.edu, click on Blackboard, and log in.

Overall, I was impressed by your creativity and by the quality of much of the writing I've seen this semester. In most cases, if you didn't get a mark in the A range, it's because your effort/participation in the course was somewhat lacking, either in class or online. Thomas Edison supposedly said that genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. The same applies in this course, as in most courses. You're welcome to email me if you have any questions or qualms.

Happy 2009 and best of luck in the next semester.

Corey