This Bic is full of love once grabbed. The blank page is just a plate. But kiss it’s egg shell white for we cannot eat off the air. Together, they are a morning of endless possibility. A vein runs thick through the pen, to the thicker and fuller veins of the pointer, middle, index and thumb, then on through to the big game, and eventually to the brain. Open a vein on this page.
Relax the wrist mid-word. It creates a swirl across the page, a stream of consciousness as pure as one could show it. No. Our world of rights and wrongs must be respected and a word is forced; even if it will inevitably fall short. The hand tightens up to form each thick relatively straight letter. Precise focus coerced from the living of stream of this mind. I challenge my nature and tangle with my emotions through organization. The swirl forms letter and then word; the page holds thought within thought within thought within thought…
The pen re-creates itself- the same process of inventiveness which made it is now carving new impressions. The entire fingers burn but the unsettled mind pushes on in its unmatched desire to surpass the Bic.
2 comments:
Alright! This is excellent stuff, Shane. It's sort of jumbled and unclear, but the language you use is rich, original, risky, exciting. I think your first line is great, very suggestive. Referring to the pen as a Bic is both literal and specific and kind of comical and lewd, which I wholeheartedly encourage. Perhaps it's because "Bic" sounds like "dick," but there's something very visceral about this description - along with the comparison of the pen to a vein, which I think is inspired.
I also think that "the pen re-creates itself" is a great metaphor both for this assignment and for writing itself.
I agree with Corey. The first line really captures the imagination of the reader. Its ambiguality increases the comical and sexual point of the writing. The fact that you compared the pen to a pen is very creative. It also further increases the rush of adredinal for the reader.
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