Workshop 12/03/08

This was posted a while ago and I made a few updates plus a manlier version. Please read both and tell me what you think

Part I

You’re in the car with a beautiful man and he doesn’t tell you he loves you. You know he does. He helped you make cupcakes this afternoon. He let you pick out the flavor (chocolate your favorite). He let you break the eggs, pour the water and oil. He even let you lick the bowl. “Rachel’s birthday slumber party will great.” He says. It’s your first night away from home. Things are starting to change.

You’re in a car with a beautiful man and he won’t tell you he loves you. You know he always has. He is only a few years older then you, and yet he acts like an old man. He’s driving you to the mall to meet your best friend that he can’t stand. He thinks she is bad influence. She has a bad attitude. He thinks she's hot. He doesn’t understand why you want things pierced and parts of your body permanently marked. He doesn’t like the way boys look at you now. "The changes of life" is what your P.E. teacher called it. No one likes these changes.

You’re in a car with a beautiful boy and he tells you he loves you. You think he does, at least you use to. Rachel said she saw him the other night leaving the bowling alley with Jackie looking really cozy. Everyone knows what that girl is about. This couldn’t be true. He told you he was out with his boys. Besides he said he understands that you’re not ready. He told you he respects your decision. He told you that it wasn’t that important to him. He tells you he loves you all of the time. When did things change?

You’re in a car with a beautiful man who loves you. Today he stood before your god, your friends and your family and announced it. You must acknowledge this testimony. You’ve searched for this beauty for so long. “Kissed a lot of frogs” they say. You want to start a life with this man. You will have all kinds of new experiences. Thing will be exciting and new. This changes how you felt about love before.

You’re driving in a car with a beautiful little man. He’s in the car seat playing with his favorite toy. You love this boy so much it. You can’t even believe how much you love him. You are so excited about everything about him. You mention him in every conversation. He is all over your desk at work. He’s in your wallet, on your cell, even around your neck. This little man has changed you in a way that all of the other men seem a bit envious.

Part II

Left hand raises the fork to the mouth that’s feeding you. She made this for you. It’s your favorite. She shouldn’t have. You are the worst kid on the team. You know this and so does everyone else. The only time you ever even hit the field is at the beginning, when no points have been made and there is nothing to lose. When you are on the field everyone makes a point to keep the ball far from you. She knows this. She sees it. She pretends that she doesn’t. At the end of each game she gives you a hero’s welcome. She makes you strong. You have her respect.

Left hand raises the ice to the face to soothe you. You’re hurt real bad, you want to cry, and you know you can’t. It wasn’t your fault. He started it. He deserved it. You had to. He can shit talk to you all he wants but not in front of her. Why did he have to say that about her? What kind of man would you be if you let that slide? Shit does she always have to wear those fucking short skirts damn it. Now you’re in all this just because of her. You hope they called your father and not your mother. He will know what to do. He will let you cry. He taught you respect.

Left hand glides up towards her breast. You can do this. You tell yourself you can do this. You’re nervous. You know what to do…well sort of. Hope she tells you what to do. You have no idea what you’re doing. You have no idea what you’re even looking at. This isn’t like the dvds. She’s making noises. Is that good? What the hell am I suppose to do down here? Fuck If I don’t get this right how can she respect me?

Left hand raises the glass to your mouth as the liquid warms you. You stare at her. She’s speaking to you. Does this mean she’s interested? How do I know? She’s must know you’re interested. You’re talking to her, well listening rather. You’re paying really close attention too. She is wearing a low cut shirt. She smells so good. You ask a follow up questions. You know she likes that. She has beautiful skin the kind that just looks so soft. You want to touch her. You are smiling and nodding. You are afraid of her. You have to move slowly and carefully. Insert laugh. You know if you move to quickly she will get scared and run away. You say something funny. She laughs. Should I put my hand on hers? She says something funny that isn’t funny at all. You laugh and laugh. Let’s get another drink. It will make you stronger.

Left hand raises the fork that is an airplane to feed her. Every thing had changed. You love her so much. You can’t even believe how much you love her. She is so excited about you and you are about her. You mention her to everyone. You carry her everywhere. You always want to be there to protect her. You always want to be her strength. You will never see women the same.

Thank You