Now I can choose a major, graduate with at least a bachelor's degree, and then get a job. Sounds easy, but not quite. Stop!!! This is turning into a autobiography. This is exactly what I didn't want to do. Okay let's speed this up a little and really get to it.
The professor says, "read Shakespeare, Wordsworth and Donne." I don't really care at all about their emotions. Id rather listen to Jay-Z's CD. "What is your favorite book?" Don't have one but my favorite album is Off The Wall by Michael Jackson. "Who is your favorite author?" Don't have one, but my favorite basketball player is Kobe Bryant. Am I wasting my time in school? I should drop this class. No, this very pretty girl sits next to me. Wow this whole college is full of pretty girls. She seems to like me. Hey, what's good!! We should chill one day. That day comes with me sitting across from her at the restaurant, sitting next to her at the movies and pretending we have a future together. Why cant my actions be genuine? That doesn't matter at that moment. All that matters is if I have a chance to go all the way. However. that chance is not granted at least for today. A week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks pass and my phone doesn't dial their number. Persistence is a quality that I have but it does not concern this. I know for a fact that by the third date my access will be granted, but I don't want to be that guy. Don't want to be like the guys in school who claim they do it all time and feel that nothings wrong with it. Hey, that reminds me. I am supposed to be talking about school. You see, the subject always leads to girls. Why does thinking of them take up so much of my time? Of course I think of some girls more than others. All the ones I think of are already taken. Is that just bad luck or do I cause it? Some would use that line, "You only want me because you know you can't have me." Don't really believe that line. In fact I don't believe any lines. When you start believing these lines, you tend to live your life by lines, instead of letting your life run its course. Well then again, who i am to suggest this, when I often over-value other people's opinions. By worrying and concerning myself about what other people may think or say, is the same thing as living your life by lines and cliches. I have to "practice what I preach". See, there I go again.
But there are exceptions to rules. Here's a big one: "Be an individual!!!!!"
As a musician I have admiration to those who are currently working on their craft. Also I admire those who are always working on something new. Those who always carry around their guitar wherever they go. The ones who always are practicing on their keyboard. Musicians who love to be heard and don't fear playing the wrong notes. As an athlete, I have a huge admiration for those who go to the park or to the gyms to play pick-up games. Even when nobody else is outside, the ball players who are out there by themselves working on their jump shot. Those ballplayers who try out for their High School and College basketball teams without having any fear of not making it. My admiration also goes out to writers who constantly write. Those who are excited to write. The writers who share their work without having any fear of people not liking it.
"If you love something, why don't you work hard at it." That's just it. I like it, but don't quite love it.
5 comments:
I'm a little confused as to what the piece is supposed to be, although it does remind me of Patricia's piece but only because it uses the jumped-in introduction and the soliloquy narration. Is this a "stream consciouness" type of piece? I know Mr. Frost mentioned something about it, so I'm guessing this must be something similar to it. The great thing about this type of style though, is that the work talks to the reader as if it knew the reader from before, which makes it very casual and open ended.
I'm also confused as to whether this is a true story or fiction, as the narrator (and the story in general) don't seem to make this clear (although I do assume it's fiction). Other parts do suggest fiction, but the close resemblance to the author (or that it's set in such way) does mislead (or lead--that's the question) into thinking it's a more personal piece.
Other than that, I just wanted to mention, out of pure sincerity-- not harm, that there are some spelling mistakes that you seem to make throughout the story. It really is irrelevant to the story and to the purpose of this course, but I feel that perhaps that you'd like to know (I would) so that you may really get something out of this comment.
Feel free to rend some of my posts if you feel this is unproductive.
I really enjoyed the piece; your selfawareness of the reader really caught my eye. Like William though, I did get a bit confused as to what the main idea is. You tend to jump around ideas from school, love, and music. I think those are all great things to include in your story, but maybe develop one topc instead of going all around. You have very good ideas that you mention but they stop from being very developed. I like the casual tone, but it sounds like a person's biography than a story. I think you have so much to work with, but if you could maybe focus all that excellent description into one topic, I think it'll make your story even stronger.
Thanks for the comments. I didn't proof-read it before, but I just corrected the mistakes. As far as it being all over the place, that was my intentions because I chose to write down whatever come to me. Thanks again!!!
I actually believe that there is no point that was supposed to be made here. No plotor main idea. this piece really sounds like a stream of conscoiusness. i enjoyed reading and relating it to some of my own experiences of highschool and of the whole issue about thinking of the opposite sex. It is truly a well written piece except for that one line that i thought was a bit of-"in responce i didnt respond". I was also wondering if this stream of consciencess is all happening within the time of when you are asked about your grades. If it is then perhaps you should drift from scene to thought instead of just letting your thoughts wonder. Otherwise i thought your writing was great.
I really liked the idea of the stream of consciouness. I understand that this is a piece that is supposed to be made up of the ideas the are going on in yor head, I think that this piece would be more effective if you focus on less of the ideas. I think that the broad topics jump around too much like towards the end when you talk about music. I can understand the ideas the are fluent throughout the entire piece, like the idea of sports that come up. Overall I this is piece is good, and I really like the idea of it.
Post a Comment