Just something I wrote.

I lie in my bed and close my eyes. A tear runs from my eye warming my face. I lay still and silent, thinking to myself. Maybe I have just realized it’s time to move on. Yet something inside of me is pulling back, making me hold on to you. I just don’t know what it is. I get up and walk across the room. I just need to talk to you. There are some words that I need to say. I go and take me cell phone off the charger and begin to dial your number. I hang up even before it connects. I look down at my hands. I turn my phone over in my sweaty palm. My heart began to beat rapidly. I just have to hear your voice; maybe it will change my mind. No, I can’t. I know what I have to do. I dial again, this time letting it go a second longer before I hang up, I can’t do it. I put the phone back down on the bed and walk away. The phone begins to ring; bringing me back towards the bed, I look at the screen, it’s you. I pick up. You can tell that I have been crying, you always know. “I love you, but I can’t be with you anymore it’s just too hard to look you in the face after all the awful things you have put me through” I say, and then I hang up. Motionless I lie back in my bed, close my eyes, and cry myself to sleep.