I ended up remaking this from my first verison.
___
Had the Red Lady known what would occur, she'd never stop foot through the Wolf's realm. The day started slowly; the Red Lady had wanted to see her Grandma. She prepared snacks and was very content as she worked. After that, she put on her red cape and headed out the door, happy.
She had not known though that the mean Wolf had gone to see Grandma before her. He was always hungry. He had observed her and knew she would make a great meal. When a wolf starves, not one word stops the beast. He knocked on Grandma's door. "Who lurks at my door?, called Grandma. "The Wolf, Madame. The Red Lady sent me to tell you a message", he answered. "So long an eon!” yelled Grandma. "Come through the door, my poor one! Let me get you..." As soon as Grandma had turned around, the Wolf grabbed her by the throat and swallowed her whole. "She has to learn to not be so open to strangers", muttered the Wolf.
The Red Lady had met Wolf before. She would walk by and he would always howl at her. She knew that he had a penchant for large meals, but the thought was not a bother. There were more tasty people than her. Grandma and her had spoken about the Wolf, but never saw the creature as a threat. However, she felt puzzled when she passed by the Wolf's house (near Grandma's) and had not see the beast. "That seems very odd", the Red Lady thought.
She knocked on Grandma's door, now very alarmed. "Grandma?" "Come through the door, dear" The Wolf knew the Red Lady was ajar. He was very hungry, and even though the Red Lady wasn't much of a meal, he was hungry for a second cycle. "Grandma, you look bloated! You also are very rugged" One always assumes Grandma wouldn’t age so badly!" "Oh sweetheart, you cause me tears!" The Wolf grabbed the Red Lady and prepared to eat her. "Oh my!” yelled the Red Lady!
As the Wolf was ready to pounce, he suddenly began to feel strange. "My stomach!" Suddenly, Grandma, leaped out of the Wolf's mouth. "You never thought Grandma would make you feel awful!" The Wolf lay on the floor, no longer hungry but very sad.
"Oh Grandma", the Red Lady answered, "From now on you shall be known as the Wolf attacker!"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
very interesting piece, but as i read i my attention seem to drift a bit. Maybe you might want to put the quotes (spoken words by the characters) in a dialog format; considering there were a couple of paragraph with many quotes from different speakers. In addition, you might want to work a little more on the clarity and organization of the sentences so your readers don't get lost or loose interest.
Post a Comment