Change
"All the thousands of cold friends and family are waiting anxiously wrapped in their warm coats and hats under the night sky waiting for 2007. It's amazing the amount of people that gather and unite together to watch the minute change from 11:59pm to 12:00am. I don't know maybe it's just me? The ball is waiting anxiously as well to finally drop. A new year. Does that mean a new beginning? I think to myself and wonder if that means I'll have to make changes. I hate change. I’m excited with 10 of my friends and we’re all yelling and screaming for the ball to finally drop. What if the ball doesn't drop? Can it stay 2006? I’m not ready for a new year. “Aren’t you excited?”my friend turns to me with excitement. I reply with my hands in the air “Of course! I’ve been waiting for this since January 1st , 2006!” No I haven't. I've been dreading this since January 1st, 2006, another year, more changes. The months, the hours, the minutes, and the seconds that we all wait for to start a new year in the biggest city, New York City. Wow, it’s 2007 I can’t wait to start fresh and go on to college and meet new people. I don’t want to meet new people I have my friends right here. I look around the crowded streets of New York and I see a happy couple with their "2007" hats on and smiles on their faces. My New Years resolution for 2007, I'm single and no longer stay with this creep. Now it’s 11:59 and 50 seconds, time to countdown to change. Right next to me are a group of guy friends with their beers in the air chanting like boys do. Wow, that girl in the green is hot; I can't wait to go skiing next week; I don't even like beer; New friends in college, can't wait to leave. 10, my ten best friends. 9, the months left to start a new school year. 8, the hours I used to spend in High School these past four years. 7, how old I was when I these friends. 6 seconds closer to change. 5 seconds closer to change. 4 seconds closer to change. 3 seconds closer to change. 2 seconds closer to change. 1 second closer to starting a brand new year of the same thing over and over. It’s 12:00 midnight and we’re all hugging and kissing each other just like we’ll be doing in 2008, happy waiting for change."
7 comments:
Great, Angie, I'm glad you found a couple more things to post. The two poems show a consistent approach that has its own striking rhythm - very interesting. I'm especially glad that you're posting a revision of the piece you wrote before - this class (and writing in general) is all about revision, and it will be good to discuss why you've changed what you changed. (Speaking of change...)
I like what you've added, by the way. Everyone should take a moment to compare this to the previous draft, posted on Wednesday, September 17: 'Similar Style to "The Goodbye Tapes"'. Do you all think it is similar to Eileen Myles story, by the way, and is it more or less so now?
I liked the revision that you made from the previous one you had up. You added a bit more detail and a little bit more of your own private thougts. What i really liked was how u itallized your own privite thoughts. It seems like you are thinking which is written in observation and your conscience is the italized form. It really does remind me of "the Goodbye Tapes" with all the detail, observation, and examination.
I agree that this piece is similar to "The Goodbye Tapes" in that it is very self aware of the role the narrator is playing. I think this would bea great monologue. The end reminded me of that song from "Rent", where all the numbers are mentioned. I'm curious though as to why you bolded the conversation of the boys as well as the part about being single? Are there undertones about female rebellion in this piece?
I like how your narrative goes into private thought. People tend to lie to themselves all the time, and you captured the narrator lying to herself amongst the fake happiness towards change. You captured her insecurities. At the same time, there has been no change at the end. The line "we’re all hugging and kissing each other just like we’ll be doing in 2008, happy waiting for change" sends the message that possibly time may change, maybe we don't change as we think. I like the irony.
I like the revision to this piece. I like they way that you added the thoughts of those around you. The only thing that threw me off, (and it is no big deal anyway) was when you say "wow, it's 2007" and then a few lines later it was still 2006. For me, it just interupted me reading and stop and made me think. I would just put the word "almost" in there to help make it clear that it is still 2006. I like that this piece is taking place in a minute, and it really shows that alot can happen in a small amount of time.
I liked this work. I found it easy to relate to. The realism of how many thoughts race through someone's mind in a matter of minutes, maybe even seconds. I can personally remember plenty of similar situations. I think we all can and that's what makes this story work.
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