Creative writing
Professor Frost
Jody- Ann Hall
October 18, 2008
By Jody –Ann Hall
Oh my God its cold out today, I have so many things to do all the time, all the craziness in my life just never ends, I must get to my school work at once ...
I’m staring at the blank page and I’m thinking from which school of thought should I write. The tension begins to build in my head I cannot stand it; I so hate the pressure. Should I write a poem that will appeal to the senses of my undetermined audience? I have always considered myself more an orator than an author. Should I deliberate on the current state of the economy? How shocking it is; as the walls of the great American economy begins to crumble into a recession. People are now busy as a swarm of disturbed bees as they try to transfer and withdraw funds in an effort to protect the funds in their 401k’s, trust funds, stock investments and other savings.
I begin to play twister with my pen between my fingers, a time wasting activity I admit. However, I have tried to master it countless times in an attempt to get my brainpower going, or so I would like to believe…. Death/ dead, umm the words alone loathe me. They themselves declare a BOLD and CLEAR statement; they give a terrifying sensation. A sentence is simply not necessary. The words death/ dead convey darkness, lost of any signs of life (end to breathing/ movement).
It never ceases to amaze me how death has the authority to claims whomever or whatever it puts its filthy paws. Where did “IT” come from? Who gave “IT” such permission? To add to this death has taken it upon itself to delegate its duties of claiming lives to the likes of : sergeant disease, who as then delegated duties to other army of misfits, such as cancer, AIDS, freak accidents, drug over dose and the list goes on and on
Death you disgust me! You have taken away so many loved ones and even innocent lives how dare YOU?! You should climb back underneath the rock you came from. Stop this instance with your ruthless and intimidation tactics. You often leave us to wonder whom will you come after next, causing us to live our lives in fear. Why can’t you leave us be?? Stop snatching our breaths away sending our bodies in a state of unconsciousness. After which our bodies are sealed away in a box and soon after begin to decay. Death you are… you… you ugly, ugly thing you!!
4 comments:
I like the beginning, but it seemed like you were more interested in writing when it came to the topic of death - maybe you should focus more on that (people you've lost, your own fear of dying, etc)
I also liked the way you kept addressing death as "you", it made it sound like a letter
This piece reminded me of the excercise given by the Professor, when he told us to write about writing a paper. I can see the transition; you go from trying to think about what to write and transgress to writing on death. It's a piece that shows how the writing process begins, at least in my opinion. My only quibble is that the transition from writing to death is a bit blunt. The idea of writing about death comes out of nowhere. I think a clearer transition could be benefical. Overall, great job. :)
Jody-Ann, I think this is a good start to an interesting meditation on death, perhaps, but as others have pointed out there is a bit of a disconnect between the opening and the main idea. You should treat this as raw material or a brainstorm: take what you like best from it, and develop it into something more cohesive. I've sent you some other comments by email. When you have a revised version, post it again and we can workshop it then. (Of course, everyone else is still welcome to post their comments and counsel.)
Your piece did remind me of assignment about the piece of paper in the beginning. But then there was a drastic change to a specific thought instead of random thoughts as your title suggests. I think that with this piece you can create two seperate pieces. One piece about atually random thoughts as you stare at your blank piece of paper and the other one on your insight of death. Otherwise you started off both topics very well and you just have to continue on them.
Post a Comment